Obedience

The next day was a good day too until---. We started out reading from a snake book and a Magic Tree book. He proudly showed me the pages he had 'read' in the Silverstein poem book. He found a poem he loved called "The Tree House." I was beyond happy at how things were going.
On Mondays and Tuesdays, we go to the special education classroom where this boy works with a boy who has serious problems; they connect very well. The special education teacher has been very happy with the arrangement. However, my boy wants to work with the other boy when it is free time so they can play. I talked to the teacher about it and she liked the idea because her student doesn't get much time to play at home (and even less at school I might add). But, as we are talking, she realizes she had spent the day, with the boy I tutor, as a substitute and he did nothing in the classroom for her. So, she says that would be okay but it should be a reward for doing work in the classroom. (She is not even his teacher.)
This is wrong on so many levels and I went home in tears. First, she didn't even realize the boy with me is the same boy she had trouble with until well after the fact! Appalling!!! Her student needs this interaction and my student is thriving with this relationship. BUT, as with most educational settings, the most important thing is that the children know how to do WHAT THEY ARE TOLD, WHEN THEY ARE TOLD AND HOW THEY ARE TOLD all day long!!!!!
The incident reminds me why I always give up. Educated, well-meaning and, otherwise, nice people cannot get passed the importance OVER EVERTHING ELSE of students doing what they are told.
They don't understand that when obedience becomes the first order of business everthing else (reading skills, math skills, thinking skills, people skills, self-discipline, confidence, etc.) suffers. If obedience became a less important goal, the more important skills would increase. CHILDREN WANT TO MAKE US HAPPY! All it takes to make that happen is to think of them even a little bit.